four and teen

7 November 2008

04.45am

"Hello God,
It's me, Katya, waking up and realize that I'm now 14. Wow, although I've been a mess this past few weeks (and I got my period so that doesnt really helped me), I gotta admit it; I'm waiting for today. Today I'm 13 no more. 13's have been great for me. But I'm looking up to be 14. I've tasted thrill and the sucking, the best, the worst, the high and the low moments of my life being 13, and now the time has come. The number's of 'One' and 'Four' is finally here!
Oh look, my Mom's awake.
I look at her beautiful eyes now. Oh great, she's smiling.
'Happy Birthday!' she says.
Shoooot! Tears are falling from my eyes now!
As she begins to tell me a story about her watching me growing up, oh dear God, seriously, I cant tell my tears to stop falling!
God, you give me chances
You've punished me, but you also gave me a lot of joy, and I'm thankful for that.
You put me in a right place, and you gave me a loving family and friends to stay with me.
Although I've ever felt like I wanna die, I dont want these people to be around me, I hate my life, and I felt unthankful, you still gave me chances and another one and another one and another one.
'I dont want these people to be around me'? My family are great! My mom is superb and I dont want you to replace her, ever!
'I hate my life'? There's up and down in life, and you let me to taste both
'I felt unthankful'? I live for 14 years and I want to keep growing. Still feeling unthankful much?
'I wanna die'?
No.
I'm not even half of century. I love my life, even when I hate it. I'm so grateful to be alive because you just dont want to know if you'll survive 'up there' if you die.
Base on what I've learn 'til now,
it seems like I couldnt ask for more.
Thank you, God!"